Rude Awakenings, A Bar Fight, and a Thank You!

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Rude Awakenings.


I woke up in a very strange place this morning...



It's a long story. The short version is, paint what you are asked to paint. The long version is, don't take commissions in seedy bars from big guys in black pick up trucks, don't take their cash up front (and don't spend it before you've delivered the work), don't paint what they don't want you to paint, and don't mouth off to them when they demand their money back. They'll pop you in the back of the head with a beer bottle and leave you for dead.

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A Bar Fight (Artistic Differences)


So, here's what happened. I was chillin' at Mugshots, and discretely passing out business cards to drum up work for commissions. (You have to be discrete - Some stupid "no soliciting" policy at this bar, or something.) But, it paid off! A wiry, sun-burnt fellow, about six-feet tall, drunkenly asked me to paint a Mississippi sunset with a silhouette of a man in a fishing boat. He fumbled with his smart phone, and eventually pulled up this image:



He said he really liked it, and wanted to give it to his son for his 17th birthday. Then he broke down in tears, and began slurring about how much he loved his son, and what a terrible father he was for never taking him fishing. He threw his arm around me, his breath heavy with beer and chewing tobacco, and offered me twenty bucks to paint it. I agreed to do it, mainly because he started squeezing me so tightly.

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, but I keep my promises! I began to paint... and then, it happened.


Loch Ness with Crows
ruprecht-tehbunee.deviantart.c…

Nessie drifted placidly into the frame. Her peaceful, yet sudden, arrival startled some crows, and they cawed loudly as they flew into the sunset. It is the most beautiful thing that can happen to an artist. Your work has a life of its own! RAW ART. The canvas and paints spoke to me! Nay, my hands were no longer mine own. This landscape was a gift from the heavens, my body the mere instrument of the painting's birth, SLAVE to a mysterious muse.

Well, it wasn't EXACTLY what the guy paid me to paint, but hey... free crows! I thought this was more than acceptable. Plus, it was just so spontaneous and beautiful and impressionistic. 

He was FURIOUS when I delivered the final painting to the bar last night! His face turned bright red, and his mouth twisted into a gap-toothed snarl as he demanded his money back. I told him that I had already spent the money, and that this painting was better, and it wasn't my fault that his artistically ignorant mind could not appreciate it. He then insulted my mother, and tried to throw beer on the painting! Well, it was war then. Mess with my art? I poked him in the eye and spit in his beer.

The rest is kind of a blur. I woke up the next morning to the warmth of concrete, which was strangely comforting to my aching body.

The good news is, the painting was safe, leaning against the brick wall I woke up next to.

The bad news is, I think this guy still wants his money back. If you can do me a favor and buy a print or something, I can get this crazy man off my back. Here is the link, again: ruprecht-tehbunee.deviantart.c…

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A Thank you!


In my short time here on Deviant Art, I have met some pretty cool people. I think the most awesome person I've met yet is Blue-Bell-Boy. We immediately hit it off, because we're kind of misfits here. I'm an anthropomorphic stuffed bunny rabbit. He's not human, either - He's a ROBOT! (How cool is that???)

Blue-Bell-Boy has liked and commented on so much of my art, which makes me feel good, and want to keep trying! He also made a VERY generous point contribution to my donation pool. One day, I hope to have a one-year premium membership saved up. :)

One thing I like about his work is he uses traditional materials. Check out this really cool Piper Cherokee he drew!


Piper Cherokee, by blue-bell-boy
blue-bell-boy.deviantart.com/a…


He only used a red pencil, a blue pencil, a lead pencil, and a fine point marker pen to draw that!

He's also a pretty technical fellow. He drew this Reconnaissance Vehicle. It looks like it might actually work!


Reconnaissance Vehicle, by blue-bell-boy
blue-bell-boy.deviantart.com/a…


Go check out his gallery! Send him some llamas. I hear he takes very good care of his llamas. He even feeds them canned food instead of that dry stuff that comes in a bag! 

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Signing Off


Well, I'm going to have to straighten up and create some more art - I need money to pay that scary guy with! No partying for me today. Okay, well, maybe ONE drink... Okay, two... maybe thfree... whore, I mean four...




© 2014 - 2024 Ruprecht-Tehbunee
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